Changes

         How much has changed since I last wrote, and all the many ways that I have grown in being whom God meant me to become. The joys that I experienced during the summer when I worked at a camp near my parents, were but a small taste. It was not a single moment in time that me come to my decision, but rather a multitude of moments. So many years ago, I told God quite simply that I was not going to be a teacher, but over time and with much gentleness, He helped me to change my mind. So here I am, wondering what moments lead me coming to the conclusion of teaching English (ESL) to people who desire to learn to speak English. And while I do not know what changed my mind, only that over time my mind was changed.
          That is not the only change going on, I look outside and see the leaves fall, the wind blows, and the crispy air, and know that a different kind of change is coming, but this change is constant. And with this change in the seasons, I always seem to remember a poem that I memorized so long ago: October by Robert Frost.

O hushed October morning mild, 
Thy leaves have ripened to the fall;
Tomorrow's wind, if it be wild,
Should waste them all.
The crows above the forest call;
Tomorrow they may form and go.
O hushed October morning mild,
Begin the hours of this slow,
Make the day seem to us less brief.
Hearts not averse to being beguiled,
Beguile us in the way you know.
Release one leaf at break of day
At noon release another leaf;
One from our trees, one far away.
Retard the sun with gentle mist; 
Enchant the land with amethyst
Slow, slow!
For the grapes' sake, if they were all, 
whose leaves already burnt with frost
Whose clustered fruit must else be lost --
For the grapes sake along the wall.


Yet this is not the first change nor shall it be the last change that will come, for other changes will come. But amidst this change in the season, I will enjoy the change in the beauty as the trees shed their leaves and a new kind of beauty comes in. 

When Rain Falls

One of the things that reminds me of my mom the most, is when it rains. Several years ago, when it would rain, she would sit out on the porch and watch the rain. Today, I rained and rained, and as I was doing my homework, the rain reminded me of her. 

When so many miles separate us, even now, nothing could separate us from you being my mother, and I your daughter. Sometimes all I want to do is get on a train and come and see you, but I must wait for 28 more days. There are those moments when a single action, brings so many happy memories back. They can be something as simple as looking at someone's hands and feet, and that will remind me of you. Those days when I drink a cup of tea, those are the moments when I am reminded of you, and I just want you next to me, so that you can share a cup with me. Other times, it could be a simple phrase that reminds me of something that you would say. I could never forget the scent that you would put on every Sunday, and those moments when my heart aches for the familiarity of your embrace. Those little things that I grew up: the fingers dashing on the piano, the hot pot of tea, your voice, and the acts of kindness of her being my mom. I remember that all I have to do is pick up my phone, and I can hear you voice, the voice that I have heard my whole life. I cannot tell you enough times, how much I dearly love you; you are so wonderful, and I love you so much!

The Date Night

Fun things happen when I came back from Easter break! I got back to school at about 5:00, and I texted my roommate telling her I was five minutes away from the school. My roommate told that there was a surprise waiting me at the school. After I said good-bye to my grandparents, and moved all of my things back into my room, a boy named Timothy banged on my window. I went outside to see who it was, and right there he asked me on a date, for that evening. I told him yes, and went and changed my clothes, so that I could look cute. The date was so much fun, we ended up going to a Mexican restaurant. We talked for a long, and then walked in the park, and the evening was absolutely beautiful. When he walked me back to my building he asked my to be his girlfriend, and I said yes! So now I am in a relationship!  

April Fools! Did I get your goat Mom?!?

There and Back Again

Just last week, I went to my grandparents for a relaxing spring break. During this spring, everyone in the house got the stomach flu, which was an extremely vicious bug. Everyone got better, the week ended, and I went back to school. I went back to school for only four days, and went back to the grandparents. My brother and his girlfriend also came, which made the weekend so much fun. My grandmother adores her rocks, and she has tons surrounding her flower gardens, since everyone was sick on her birthday, she did not have the best birthday. So since she loves her rocks, we went down to a stream in Ridge Haven. The rock was massive, and easily weighed 100 pounds. My grandmother loved her rock! Both the spring break and Easter break went wonderfully. I really love going to the mountains and being with the “old people.”

The Mountains

Spring break is here. How I have been looking to an entire week of relaxing, but also a week where I can get a lot of homework done too. The grandparents house is a great place to do both of these things. Today has been so wonderful. The weather was gorgeous, though I do feel a little guilty for having gone outside all day. One of the things that I love about my grandmother is that she got me thoroughly hooked on hot tea. So today, I drank a whole pot of tea, while I did homework. Somehow drinking tea makes writing papers and homework easier. I love going to grandparents house, because sometimes it is nice to go to place that doesn't seem to change with time. It is the same house that I visited as child and then later lived in. As the years have gone by, I have changed but the house and my grandparents have changed. They have always been a huge constant in my life. My grandparents live in the mountains, where you can look out window, and see the huge expansion of the mountains that seem to keep going. Coming to mountains has always given me peace. There is something that it so relaxing about being in the mountains.

Blossoming

At the college that I go to, we have student ministries, these student ministries are meant to encourage us as the students to be out into community. For my student ministry this year, I am helping out with an ESL program {Teaching English as a second language}. For this week, I helped out with the kids so that the parents would be abel to learn better. This week, there was a girl who finally came downstairs to be with the other kids. This little girl was really shy, and had been staying upstairs with her dad. By the end of the evening she was having so much fun. It was so amazing to watch her transform from being so overwhelmed at being separated from her dad to having fun coloring. She seemed to seemed to blossom as the evening went on. I love working with kids so much!

We are Off to See the Wizard

Yesterday, I went on journey. A friend and I decided to go little falls, upon reaching little falls, I wanted to keep going. The whole time that we are trasping through the forest, we are both wearing shorts and t-shirts. Along the way we met some very unfriendly briar batches, but we kept going, and going, and going. Then along the way, I wanted to reach the very top of the mountain. So my friend and I decided to go up the mountain. At this point we aren't completely lost, but we also don't exactly where we are either. {The way that we needed to get back to college was just by following the water, so as long as we knew where it was we weren't really lost} But along the hike, we came across the boundary line between the National Forest and Toccoa Falls. But it was getting darker, so we decided to turn back. At that is the end of our adventure.

The Desires of my Heart

I went to a chapel today, that was for the people in my major {which means that all of professors from my major talked about Cross-Cultural Studies}. I have always enjoyed these chapels, and they help me so much. One of the ladies spoke about the desires of your heart, and sometimes the desires of our hearts are not what we expected to hear. I thought that the desire of my heart was for me to live with a group of girls in a terrace. But maybe that is not what God wants to be the desire of my heart. Maybe it is with different girls, So now, I must find out what God wants to be the desire of my heart. While this was a great thing for me to hear, I must now apply it to my life. Searching out other options, and pray that God will enlighten me on the path that He wants me to. By going to these chapels that speak to me and help me to remind me the reasons for why I decided to go to a Christian College.

Learning Contentment

Waiting. How much of our time do we spend waiting. Waiting for something to happen, or waiting for something to be over. How often do we actually spend through the course of the day, being thankful for that moment and being content in that moment. As this is the week before Spring Break, and all that I can think about is next week and being in the mountains with my grandparents. I am waiting for this week to be over with so that I can enjoy my break. In this, I am waiting, and not being content. But I also know, that as soon as soon next week comes along, I will be waiting for something else, another day. How I want to be content in the moment, in every moment of every day. Yet this is a lesson that will take time, but I know that one day, I will have full contentment in heart.

Spring is Here

The daffodils are popping open and the Red Robins have returned. Spring is on its way. I have been looking forward to wearing shorts and pastel colors again. I am looking forward to the summer time and being out of school, but it will be here before I know it.  I cannot wait to feel the warm sun on my face, and for summer to be here.

Excuses

So I created this blog a couple of years ago, and decided to not to keep up with it. Why?? Well in my mind I created a number of excuses for why I couldn't find the time. This ranged from not finding time because of school, homework, busyness of life, and all the reasons for I why decided not to write were just that EXCUSES. But how many times do find reasons  not to do something. How pitiful do these excuses look like when they become placed under a microscope. But so many times I find reasons for why I shouldn't do something, one example is reading homework for school, and my excuse for this is because I don't want to. Reading for school is not preference for this moment in day. But what a sorry excuse that can be. Another is maintaining relationships, sometimes maintaining relationships can be unpleasant, and I think in my mind, ever so selfishly "Lord, aren't they a waste of my time? I need to be doing something better, something else" And the Lord is ever so kind and gracious to me, and He reminds me. That I need to invest in them, that they are His children too, and that everything in this world is passing, but people. People, people are important, and that they are not a waste of my time. But what I think about one day when I will have to stand before God and give Him account for all of my actions. Because in that moment, I will not be able to come up any good excuses for lack actions,  What excuses do you give yourself in order for you to feel better about yourself??